So they had these bombings in Moscow this mronin on theirr subway system. Theres at least 35 people dead or or so and about a hundred hurt. Its terrible. So NYC is stepping up security on subway system and their pullin me out of deep cover for now to help out . I'll be doing some undercover work in the bowels of Manhatan keepin all you people safe from all those no good terrorists who want to see America fall. Seriuosly I dont understand it. Why do they hate us? Do they think we go it all and they're jealous? If thats the case they should stop by ol Terry Gristles place because I defanately dont got it all. My ex-wives did! Ha ha. Ouch. Thatas actually not that funny.
Anyways, if youre in New York and you happen to see mne down there in the tunnels or on theplatform doin my thing. Dont say anything. I dont' need some weird obsessive fan blwoin my cover. Plus if you act all weird I might have to bust you for suspision of somethin. I would of course hav eto make up somethin after I give you a beatdown and cuff ya. And I hate to do that to a fan.
--TG out
Monday, March 29, 2010
My First Video Diary
Ya know its hard enogh writing crap for this blog now the jimbo guy want s me to do some MTV style viedeo garbage...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wrong side of the bed
Slept in my car last night. Didnt have a choice. I was tailin this dame who supposeddely knew the wereabouts of a mid level dealer Ive been chasin for about 2 years. This dealer knows the brother of another higher up dealer who iced a cop about 5 years earlier. Anyway, the guy wasn't there and the broad gave me the slip. At least I think she did. Like I said I slept in my car last night. What can I say, Im bruning the candle on both ends lving theis double life in deep cover. I'm like batman only not rich. Not cool. Not thin. And not really kick ass. But you know, crime doesn't sleep. Unfortunately for justice, ol' Terry Gristle does.
Anywya, I kinda passed out after 4 hours of this broad and her scumbag dealer bein no shows. You d think that after 5 coffees I wouldn't be able to close my eyes but I been drinkin coffee regularly since I was 7. Don't juddge my parents though, they were real workin class people. My dad worked 2 jobs and my mom did laundry, and looked after neighborhood kids to help put food on the talble. A cup of joe was what we had so a cup of joe was what we got. That and maybe the end off a loaf of italian bread. Nowadays i usually down nearly a pot o mud and a 3 pieces of dry toast before I hit the head for a half hour each mornin. Hey I never claimed to be no Charlie Atlas.
Anyway, I'm a little groggy is all and now I gotta stiffneck from sleepin against the arm reast. And to tell the truth ... between you and me? I think I may hve peed my drawers a bit in my sleep. I don't know. i mean I'm dry and all but I got my ssuspicions....
—Gristle out
Anywya, I kinda passed out after 4 hours of this broad and her scumbag dealer bein no shows. You d think that after 5 coffees I wouldn't be able to close my eyes but I been drinkin coffee regularly since I was 7. Don't juddge my parents though, they were real workin class people. My dad worked 2 jobs and my mom did laundry, and looked after neighborhood kids to help put food on the talble. A cup of joe was what we had so a cup of joe was what we got. That and maybe the end off a loaf of italian bread. Nowadays i usually down nearly a pot o mud and a 3 pieces of dry toast before I hit the head for a half hour each mornin. Hey I never claimed to be no Charlie Atlas.
Anyway, I'm a little groggy is all and now I gotta stiffneck from sleepin against the arm reast. And to tell the truth ... between you and me? I think I may hve peed my drawers a bit in my sleep. I don't know. i mean I'm dry and all but I got my ssuspicions....
—Gristle out
Friday, March 26, 2010
The guy who runs this blog is hockin his wares...
Yeh that Jimbo guy who I sign into this blog uder sometimes has been back to workin on his comic strip Jimpervert. Seriuosly it should be called that because he draws a lot of obsene crap if you ask me. Plus two of characters seem like theyre gay. NOT that there's anything wrong with it. Ha ha. Love that episode of Seinfeld. I know, youwouldnt peg me for a Seinfeld fan but I am. I fell in love with tath show during the reruns. Not when it was on origianlly because I always watchhed Home IMprovement with Tim Allen-- a hilrious guy who was once busted for selling and using cocaine. See I believe in rehabiliatation for shome criminals. Just not all. And thank god for that otherwise we wouldnt have Tool Time and that foxy Pammy Anderson. Or if you ask the Jimbo guy, Debbie Dunning (the tool time girl who came after Pammy). He thinks shes even hotter.
Anyways Jimbo opened a store on the internet here and is selling t shirts and crap. Even I gotta admit tthey look pretty good.
Now I'm no art critic but I gotta say he's a good drawer. And some of his stuff is funny. Even if it insults my good moral upbringin. Anyway, here's the link to his "store" if you re interesetted: JIMPERVERT'S HOUSE OF CRAP
Anyways Jimbo opened a store on the internet here and is selling t shirts and crap. Even I gotta admit tthey look pretty good.
Now I'm no art critic but I gotta say he's a good drawer. And some of his stuff is funny. Even if it insults my good moral upbringin. Anyway, here's the link to his "store" if you re interesetted: JIMPERVERT'S HOUSE OF CRAP
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Am I being followed?
Just after my last post 2 people started followin this here blog. I wonder what they're up to. I cant help but be suspisious since I just got done writin about how I cant trust anyone bein as deep under cover as I am. Some Wong guy and some sunshine girl. Come to think of it, this Wong character may not be a guy at all. For all I no he could be some con I put away's wife or soemthin.
Crap. I gotta get out of this job. You think you got it tough doin what youre doin? Try stickin your neck out each day for a bunch of people who don't even know it. Maybe its time for ol Terry Gristle to hang it up. Maybe I outta retire and get a little place in the country. Some place quiet. Some palce safe.
Aw nuts. What would happen to Johnnie? He'd be lost without me. Poor kid can barely blow his own nose without me. He s got no friends. He's gotten into a fist fight with almost every one in the department. Even the Captain! Heck he even got inna fight with me a couple of times. Good thing for me that he misses every punch because he gets so pissed and can't control himself. Unlike my youngest kid. I tell ya that ones a one helluva scrapper. You would hardley believe she came in 2nd at the local Little Miss Cupcake.
O.K. Gott a go. I'll be keepin my eye on these new "followers" to make sure they ain't follwin me around for real.
Crap. Maybe theyr'e Internal Affairs? Maybe they found out the Wii that Johannie Boy got me might not of been on the up and up.
Jeez, will ya get a load a me? I'm actin totally paranoid.
--Gristle out
Crap. I gotta get out of this job. You think you got it tough doin what youre doin? Try stickin your neck out each day for a bunch of people who don't even know it. Maybe its time for ol Terry Gristle to hang it up. Maybe I outta retire and get a little place in the country. Some place quiet. Some palce safe.
Aw nuts. What would happen to Johnnie? He'd be lost without me. Poor kid can barely blow his own nose without me. He s got no friends. He's gotten into a fist fight with almost every one in the department. Even the Captain! Heck he even got inna fight with me a couple of times. Good thing for me that he misses every punch because he gets so pissed and can't control himself. Unlike my youngest kid. I tell ya that ones a one helluva scrapper. You would hardley believe she came in 2nd at the local Little Miss Cupcake.
O.K. Gott a go. I'll be keepin my eye on these new "followers" to make sure they ain't follwin me around for real.
Crap. Maybe theyr'e Internal Affairs? Maybe they found out the Wii that Johannie Boy got me might not of been on the up and up.
Jeez, will ya get a load a me? I'm actin totally paranoid.
--Gristle out
Nice weather we been havin
The problem with the nice weather when your under cover is that all the crimianls still wanna stay inside and plot and crap. Its days like lately that I sometimes miss beiing a regular cop walkin the beat. Gettin some fresh air. knowin who your enemies are. When your as deep undercove as I am you cant trust anyone. Not even the cops cause they could be either tryin' to take me down thinkin i really am a scumbag or otherwise they may be crooked all the way. But hey I shouldnt be complaning, the weather is warm and the sun is ou—
Crap. Clouds just rolled in.
—Gristle out
Crap. Clouds just rolled in.
—Gristle out
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Slender & Gristle are deep cover
Me and Johnny are busy doing deep cover right now. I know, right. We been in deep for about a year now and I cant go too much into detail but lets just say that where we are at you dont wanna be. Some a the things I done to keep my cover I woudlnt wish on my worse enemy. Okay maybe I would. But lets just say a lot of it has been pretty depraved.
Worst of all, I hadda eat sushi. Ugh!
Johnnies no better. Poor guy hadda work as a shot boy at a gay rodeo bar. I wonder how many times he was asked if he could push in their stool... Ha ha. I no that joke aint PC but itsa classic.
Anyway I wasnt gonna write but I go access to a remote computer system (yeah i'm high-tech now) and I though i would sign in. I'm hopin this undercover operattion will be over soon so I can get back to my crappy life lvin alone and lookin for love in all the wrong places.
I'm sure my ex wives are interested in seein my sorrry ass lookin miserable again. And my kids? Well I know their not missin their old dad any. Boy I'd like to know who I screwed over in a prvious life.
—Gristle ou
Worst of all, I hadda eat sushi. Ugh!
Johnnies no better. Poor guy hadda work as a shot boy at a gay rodeo bar. I wonder how many times he was asked if he could push in their stool... Ha ha. I no that joke aint PC but itsa classic.
Anyway I wasnt gonna write but I go access to a remote computer system (yeah i'm high-tech now) and I though i would sign in. I'm hopin this undercover operattion will be over soon so I can get back to my crappy life lvin alone and lookin for love in all the wrong places.
I'm sure my ex wives are interested in seein my sorrry ass lookin miserable again. And my kids? Well I know their not missin their old dad any. Boy I'd like to know who I screwed over in a prvious life.
—Gristle ou
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