SEALed the Deal....

Its me again. Ol Terry Gristle. Im sure youv'e been wonderin what in hell happened to me.  Well without tellin you strate out, lets just say I was real busy. Over seas. Yep. Ol T was called back into service. I was one a the SEALs back in thd day and in case you haddent herd, something big went down about a month agao. Well .... guess who was there to help make it happen?  Yep. Wtihout saying it out right ... the one to the head mita been me.

As you may or may not no, Iwent on a diet last year. All in all I dropped 50 plus pounds. That's right, Terry G aint no schlub no more. I got back inta SEAL shape and they called me back. I took a long sabatacul from the precinct. I figured if I wanna make sure NYC is safe I gotta go stop the leak at the sauce. So to make a long story short, I ended up in the Afganistan and did what I was put on Gods green earth to do: protect my country.

Now Im not one to normally brag but after so many years a bein down on myslef, it feels pretty good to have somethin to crow about.

I came home durin Fleet Week last week and I'm returnin to my regular job. From GI Joe to Ser Pi Co. so look for more posts soon.  I just spnet Memorial Day weekend withJohnnie. Boy was he a sight for sore eyes. He aint no dame, but he runs a close second when you aint seen a freindly face in months. I wish the same could be said for my family. Im gonna see them next week. My kids that is. It's tuff seein them all seein as they come from differenct wives. Maybe thingsll be better them nowin what Idid for God and country. For them.....

Terry out.

Lazyrus

Holy smokes itsbeena long time since I wrote. I hope you all havn't been scannin the local police blotters thinkin Ol' Terry Gristle bit the bullet. I just been lazy and a lttle down in the dumps again. What can I tell ya thats the life of a multi divorced cop.

I no that times are tuff rite now. I see it everday. Tenshuns are hi int he hoods that I get called to on all kinds of cases. People are outta jobs and runnin outta pashunsc. I seen alott murders lately. A lotta vilence in jeneral. Fathers against mohters. Sisters against brothers. Sallys against Struthers.

Sorry that was just a bad joke. Tryin to liten the mood. After all these years on the force, ya get a wierd sense a humor. Gallows humor. Its seriously that old statement that if you dont laff you might just cry instead. An I dont wanna cry. I save my tears for wehn I remember fondly my dear ol ma. Everything else....

An if you think my sense of humor is odd ya should getta load of those nutjobs that work at the morgue. I aint nothin compared to them. But I cant' fault them. I seen some horrible hell in mylife and they see it too. Brains blown out. Bodies mangeled in recks. Rotting blowted corpsess floating in rivers.... Its anough to make you wanna kill yer own self. Not that I would. Beleive it or nto I gotta lot to live for. First off, i got Johnny to worry about. Hes like a son to me only one that I kinda like. Dont get me rong I love my kids. Evn the girl. Btu I dont like em. I try to but they just all hate me so much thanks to theeer no good childsupport leechin moms. arrgh. I shoudnty be goin down this road. Seremity now, Ter. Seremity now.

But besides Johnny, I got me retirement in a few years. Waht I'm gonna do yet Im not sure but Im thinkin Florida and then doin a little moonligtin at a movie theater or somethin. Get me a little fishin boat or somethin too. Live off what I catch.... Alittle bit a the ol man and the sea.

Any way. I aint dead. So check in again ina few. Im still doin good on my diet. rEal good. Down 18 pounds! Increibel I no.

Missing the days before Miranda

a word about that incdent involving that 17 year old girl who punched that police officer that was makin the news. Im a cop. Its my duty to serve and protect. And that applies to my own ass as well. If someone. Anyone pushed ME theyre gonna end up on their ass and then in the back seat of my car.

Now SHOULD the officer in question have punched her in the face? No. It was a knee jerk reaction . He coulda handeled it better. We're TRAINED to handle it better so yeah he should probley get some disiplinary action. He lost his cool too quick. Btu that disrespectful girl and her friend deserve to be put behind bars.

Buut did that girl DESERVE to be punched in the face? Hell yes. You DONT hit a cop. You DONT PUSH acop. You OBEY a cop. Its in my humbel veteran opinion that anyone who aggresivly disobeys an officers command deserves to get a little roughd up. Even though I no its rong in this day and age.

--Terry Gristle out

The tuffest part of bein a cop is the labels peopel put on ya. Tuff guy. Hard guy. Unapproachibel guy. But Im a human jus like everbody else. I got feelins. So what if I dont show em to everbody. I jus cant afford to do that in my line of work. An the few times I let my emtions hang out I got shot at. Dam you Beverly....

--Terry out

Memorial Day

Honoring our fallen soldierss...

War makes men out fo boys. And heros out fo men. War ruins lives. But it saves lives too.

I never new my Grampy Gristle. He died during the early years of that unholy hell called World War 2--quite a few years before I was born. From what I here he was an honerabel man who worked hard and cared deeply for his family. All Gramply Gris ever wanted to do was make our family safe -- and he died doing just that. So on every Memorial Day, I alwasy take timie out to thank him for that.

Thank you Gramply Gristle. We miss you. Its just so trajik that you got yourself locked in that safe you were building for our family. It took days to recover your body. Why didnt you leave the combo?...

--Gristle out

Doodie Calls

I got shot atlast night. The weird thing is I wasnt even on duty. Well I was in big doodie making doodie actually. I think it was one o them boca burgers that started the whol mess. LIke I said in my other posts I beendieteing really good and started eating healthy ... maybe TO healthy. I think the veggie burger didn't agree with my stomach. I ended up running to the Port Authority bathroom with my cheeks clenched and bearly go my pants down before I let loose with one of the biggest cases of dia reear I ever had. Im not kiddin. I was bowled over ... over the bowl. I didnt even have anough time to wipe the seat down properly. Theree wernet none of those paper seat covers eeither so I had to quicly drape tissue over the seat.... Ugh.

So while Im in there soe guy starts nockin on the door. I said its in use. So he nocks again. I say agian, occupied. So he starts nockin again. Well at this point Im grittin my teeth trying to keep it together becase my bowels are bein ripped apart and I KNOW that theres other stall swith no one in em so I say Get the hell a way from my stall and use aothe or Im gonna shoot your sorry ass! Suddenly 3 bullets tear through my stall door--each one missin becaus criminals are terrible shots. Holy crap I yell then pull my gun from my shoulder harness and aim strate at the door. Nothin. The punk ran off. And there I am with my pants down shittin likehteres no tomorro. And seriously, there almost was no tomrrow. Which is today if ya get what I mean.

When I got done doin my thing I called it in. I was ther for a few hours going over survellance tapes and interviewin witnesses. Good thing though because I had to use the can a few more times. I lost 2 pounds thanks to the stomach bug and the little shit who tooka shot at me. Cant say Im TO unhappy about that.

--Gristle out

Hard Knock Life

I really wated to call this entry Hard Drive Life as a play on words sorta thing but well I guess I aint so good a writer like the guy who runs this blog. Hes the reasson I was gonna call it that. His hard drive crashed and hes not able to do his jim pervert cartooon. It s too bad. Hes pretty good. The apple guy said itll take about a week to get a new drive put in and then he will have to load all his programs and music again.

As for me Im down in weight again. I etell ya this dietin is crazy. Some days the needel on my scale dont mov an once and then WAM today i'm down 2 hole poundds. I ffel good thoug. I lost 2 whol noches on my belt size. I even started eyein some small er sized slacks at Sears yesterday. I may have to get them if things keep improving wieght wise. I been feelin so pleaseed lately that when I tell some crum bum I'm arrestin to watch his head when I put em in the car that I actaully almost mean it! I even been putting the cuffs on a lttel looser.

--Gristle out

Mother's Day Weekend

When I was a littlye tike, Grammy Gristle used to sit me down on her knee and tell about abuot the olden days. How she came in during the Great War and how they were raised to believ that life was gonna get better now that they lived in America. She said that she and Grampy Gristle came here so that their children and their childrens children (which now includes me) would have better lives. More enriching. Well, I look around me now--at my unmade Murphy bed with 3 week old ill-fittin sheets, at my ol Sony Tv with the rabbit ears (and now with tat new dijital converta), and at my gun holster slung over my Ma's ol kitchen chairs that never seem to sit flush on the floor, an I think, WHEN exactly is things gonna get better?

I guess for me its my own fault. No one ever said tat if you get divorced 4 times lifes gonan be easy. But its times like this when Im feelin down thhat I think about my Ma. Especiallay when I look at them chairs. Shes been gone now 9 years and I couldnt miss her more. Its tru waht they say ya know, you never rellay know what you got until its gone. An my mom is gone. An that make s me sad. I get real bummed on certain days like Mothers Day. Chrismas Day. Her birthday. An the day she died. I knoe its hard to believe, a big ol tough guy cop like me, but its tru...Im blubberin like a baby right now.

Happy Mothers Day, Ma. I miss you.
Love, Terry

Blogger, we have a problem

Sorry, but for some reasont the vidoes arent playin. I gotta talk to the guy who runs this show--if I can tear him away from his jimperfect blog.

Something I ate ... after 8. PLUS a new Video Journal ... sorta

I been doin real good on the diet but I started noticin some lag in my life because of the low caloriess. While I am mentilly energised by my weight loss I am defintitely feelin the negatives fphysicly. At first I was really keepin up with the scum on the streets but the other dayI got totally "served" as they say in the hood. Some street punk caught me off gurard with an elbow to the gut when I stopped him for questioning in an armed robbery case. Well that elbow and gave him a good 20 yard start on me and I just couldnt catch em.

And to tell the truth I been feelin extra tire around the ol apartmentt and been puttin in some extra rack time on the ol Murphy bed this weekned. I was so bummed about the ecksaustion related to the diet that I ended up at the Sizzler a gain. But rather than steaks I kinda went overboard (no pun intended) with the seafood instead. And well ... I aint been feelin too good.

It even affaected my video journal thingy. See for yourself:



--Gristle out

Movers, shakers and breakfast with the Quakers

So the diet's goin' real good. I'm down about 8 pounds total and I caught another punk trying to doged me again! I tell ya I really got my groove on now. Im a movin and a shakin out there on the stretts and word is spreadin that Detectvie Gristle is now a force to be rekoned with. I tell ya I feel almost like a new man and I aint even a quarter of the way to wheres I wannt to be. But its all very encouragin. I even been hearin some chatter amongsd the fellas in the locker room.

And then Johnnie Boy said yesterday how proud he was of me. That almost brought a tear to my eye. Johannie and I may have our heated moments, but who doesnt? Any close relationship has its ups and downs. But Johnnie is my partner. And that makes him my best friend to. So it means a lot to me. I still can't beat him in afoot race. Hes fast as lightniing. Then again he only ways like a buck forty.

So I been eatin okay on this diet. Dinner is the hardest meal cause I gotta eat hours before I sleep. No snacks. Thats the toughest. Breakfast is okay. i eat some egg whites and a 1/2 a cuppa oatmeal which I sort of like but I tell ya its almost impossible to cook those Quaker oats all the way throughh. IYou jus cant soften those things no matter what. Kinda like my last ex wife. Heh heh.

Sorry to bore ya with this update.

—Gristle out

Who's THEY

They say that your body chnges every 7 years. What theyydont say is that its for the worse. Not better. Well ol Terry Gristle is trying to change all that. You see its been about 7 eyars since I last tried a diet. An it was none too successfull. Back then I borrowed those Billy Blanks fitness tapes from the library. They sucked. I almost died doin it. But that was my own fault. I was drinkin way too much in those days and eating nothin but junk. You cant excersise with a hangover and heart burn. Believe me I know.

Well I been dietin real good this last 2 weeks and I been down and then up a little each day. One day Id be down about 2 pounds and the next up 1. Im not paniking though. Whever I get down about how my fitness rootine is goin I turn to my ol mentor book, BODY BY JAKE.



It's a classic. And I love that big palooka. Hes real. And hes lojical.

So I'm down about 6 or 7 pounds and I couldnt be happier. Well I COULD. I could be down 40 pounds but one step atta time right? Anyway Im still countin my calories and doin real good. I got mey moments when the cravin takes over and admiteddly Im eatin too many carbs to combat it. But at least they been good ones and not bad food.

Anyway I found this other book at the library the other day when I was in the fitness biografy secktion. Its preetty hilariouss. Check it out if you can find it.


And when youre perusin the pictures, picture ol' Terry Gristles head on that body. hhilarious right?!?

--Gristle out

Lifes not fair ... for the fat

...or the good. That's just the way it is. And if you are good and fat (or just good n fat) theyn you are proably screwed. But let me just tell you that they are some brite moments. Last night I was chasin down some low level smack pusher. Some young kid. i was on my own cause Johnnie broke his hand punchin a pole. His knuckel sanwithc was meant for my skull but he missd cause he was pissed.

Anyway like I said I was alone. Well this punk thought he could outrun me--and on any other day of thewee he coulda--but I been dietin and well I guess its startin to show cause I caught up to him as he tried scalin a fence inna alley. Normally I cant get a qwarter the way up but somehow I shot up to the top like a cat just as he was begining to throw his leg over the top and I grabbed his belt and hauled em down tot the pavement. He smacked his head on dumpster and was out cold. It was amazin. Dont worry the little shit lived. But this was a 10 foot fense!!! I felt 18 again.

So needless to say I'm feelin real happy with this new and improoved Terry Gristle. Its like I got scrubbin bubbels!

--Gristle out

You know what really socks? Socks.

You knwo what I hate about wearin socks? Gettin all tha lint stuck under your toenails. Now I aint pretty boy but I keep em trimmed pretty good. --ever since my second wife told me how disgustign my feet looked in sandals. I guess thats why I took to wearin socks with my sandals. Anyway the dam lint ... you can only trim your toenails so much before you scrape the raw part unde the nail You know what Im talkin bout, the part that gives you the willies when tocuuhed because its never been expossed to air or nothin. Im shudderin just thinkin about it....

The way to Terry's heart is through his stomach....

So after eating my weight in steaks the other night Im back on the wagon. The weight watchin wagon I mean. I was doin real good too. I actually lost about 3 pounds until my debackel at the Sizzler. God that place does it to me every time. Ijust love steak so mcuh taht if I COULD, I would marry the meat--and thats comin from a guy whos got 4 failed marrieages, heartburn and a bum ticker.

My 2nd Video Diary

Technicly its my thrid but number 2 didnt go throough. So here it is.



Dam you Sizzler.

All good in the hood

Las night i went for a walk around the neighborhood after eatin a dinner that consisted of a mixed nuked veggies on a rap with a slice of cheese. The rap was pretty good considerin I didnt slather it with butter. I gotta say this diet is killin me but not as bad as I tthought. Right now its not that I'm starvin. Iactually DO feel full its all pretty much mental. Being a cop in the big city, youre always walkin by places that smell so good. Delis, bodegas, fast food joints, restaraunts, HOT DOG VENDORS! Oh man how I lvoe my NYC dirty water dogs. Hot and steamy covered with mustard, onions, sour krout....
Crap. I'm freakin droolin.

Anyway, as you can see, its hard sometimes but I been good. I been makin my own lunch and brekfast and writin every calory down. Keepin em under 1900! 1900!!! I used to eat that in just one meal sometimes. I useta drink but I hadda stop. Drinkins what ended my last 2 marriages. Thats when I started puttin on the pounds. Hittin the cop bars afeter hours. Headin to the firehouses with the Bravest to chow down on cheesy chilli and whatnot. I was outta control for awhile. After I stoped with the booze I kept eatin to fill the void. The void made by one bad marriage after another and my refusal to drown my sorrows in drink. I'm not saying I coulda made better choices. who couldnt? But I'm tryin now.

Summer is fast approachhing and while I aint gonna be caaught shirtless in a bikiinie Id like to at least walk down the Coney Island board walk without sweat develpin under my boobs. That's fine and dandy when youre a lady but when your some older guy....

So I ended my eve hoofin it around the hood last night an d I have to say I aint sorry I missed some of the Yankee game. It was a beautiufl nite and everbody was out. I jsut pluggd some Sinatra into my walkman and let ol' blue eyes start leadin me to brighter skies.

--Gristle out

Die(t) Hard 2

Whats that you say? Havent heard from me in a couple a days? Well I been on that diet I was telling you about. And its going pretty good so far. I'm down a pound ana half or so. And while it aint too hard it also aint too easy. See in my line a work, you kinda get used to grabbin what you can WHEN you can and chowin down in some iffy places.

Things were a lot easier when I was married. At least the first 2 times. I was alot stabler. Back then I was just a regular flatfoot doin my job, workin my shift and getting home to the wife. I'd ate a lot better then because I was young and in love but things change as you get older and they dont get much better onces you start wroking as a dick.

Anyway this diet I'm on is basiacally a countin caloriey diet. Im tryin real hard to do it right this time. Keepin my cals at about 1600 and the fat under 40 grams. I tell ya it shte nights thats the hardest.When everything is quiety and no ones around. You get alittle bored. A little lonesom. A little hungry. I start cravin EVERYTHIGN at that point. I know I should just go to bed but I'm up. So I try an ddrink a glass of water to sashiate my hunger. Problem is I gotta wake up and pee in the middle o f the night thatnks to that oh so satisfying glass of h2OH.

Man I wish I were skinny. Like Johnny boy. He dont eat nothin but junk and drink nothin but pepsis and milk. Sometimes Yoohoo. But thats about it. And that boy loves White Castles. Then again so do I. man do I love em. I really really really love em. Ir eally really do....

Crap. Now I gotta go drink a glass a water....

Stupid diet.

--Gristle out

DIE(t) HARD

So I made up my mind today to go on a adiet. Spring is here and I realize that I aint getting any younger. Well I didnt JUST realize it but ya know what I mean. Im just not feeling good about myself lately. How can I. I'm seriously about 50 pounds over weight. I'm not even 50 yet and I'm build almost like a retiree. That aint good for someone whos gotta chase after ciminals ona daily basis. Just last month I had to run down this guy whose been peepin in windows. I knocekd on his door for questioning becaus ewe got an anonymus call that he might be the tom. Well I'm in there not five minutes when he jsut suddenly bolts out the back window of his brownstone. So I started to give chase but I got my ass caught up in the window frame. I wasn't stuck or anyything it was just a little tight. I'm not as flexible as I used to be. Anyway when I squeezed thrrough finally I realizedthere was no way hades that I was gonna catche the perp. And I was winded just getting through one window. Truth be told, I get winded just tying my shoes sometimes, especaiilly if its the day after I ate a big meal.

Thats why I'm glad I have John for a partner. He may not have much goin for him upstairs but he's as fast a s freakin cheetah. Anytime we're in pursuit of some lowlife, nine times outta 10 Johnnie will run em down. He's THAT fast! Hes just amazing. I' mean youd expect that from some top notch athlete ins perfect shape but Johnnie dont' even eat 2 healthy squares a day. Some of his meals consist of only beef jerky and sunflower seeds.! Although he does drink a lot of milk, but it's all HOLE milk.

Go figure. Some people got it and some don't. Like me. i don't . I never had it exceppt for when I was in the academy. You had to be in tip top shape to make it through that. But my whole life I was always kinda big-boned. You know husky. I was born 9 and a half pounds. Not that thats a excuse for being in the shape I'm in now but theres some sorta history there. Right?

So that s why I'm startin my diet. I dont' know how I'll do. Im not lke the glamorus salad eating bottled water drinkin kinda cops you see on tv with there fansy ray ban sunglasses and silk shirts.. Im the kinda cop who wears cordoroy, likes a good steak and a cold beer and who has to wear contact lenses that correct for a stigmatism.

Anyway ... I gotta try to diet. Even if it kills me.

Funny how you cant spell diet without die in it.

--Gristle out

Stake and Potatoes

I dont have time to write much or antything much to say for that matter. I gotta pull an all niter tonight. A stake out with Johnny boy. Im sure you've seen stakeouts on t.v. and they look pretty exceiting at times but theyre not. theyre really boring. Its jsut you and your partner sitting by a window with with a telescope or binoclars with the shades prettty much closed. its depressing is what it is. I cant tell you who Im staking out just in case one of my readers is who I'm staking out. Are you?

Could be. After all Im noticing a bit of traffic on this blog here. I dont know who or why anoyone would come except for maybe some punk Im after trying to get a leg up on ol Terry Gristle. But maybe I'm just beign paranoid. 23 years on the force will get ya that way. Specially when you do deep cover asa much as Slender and me do. Who can ya trust?

Anyway if any one of you people readin this blog is the person I'm stalkin, then Ill figure it out. Ill try and get my sirvailliance equipment on your computer and see if your on my blog.

Alrite. I gott a go pick up John at the laundromat. Hes out of quarters and the china man that runs the joint wont let him near the change machine because the last time Johnny wne to use it it stole his dollar and he went beserk on it. Pulled out his gun and shot the thing. Use the whole clip. Then he reloaded and did it again.

Thats one of the reasones I dont let Johnny have any bullets. Just dont tell the bad guys.

Oh crap. What if one of you is the bad guys. Well F. Y. I. : I gotta shitload bullets in my gun and I'm not afraid to use it. So dont' try anything funny.

Man Im' hungry. Maybe we'l hit the Sizzler on the way over.

--Gristle out