Me and Johnny are busy doing deep cover right now. I know, right. We been in deep for about a year now and I cant go too much into detail but lets just say that where we are at you dont wanna be. Some a the things I done to keep my cover I woudlnt wish on my worse enemy. Okay maybe I would. But lets just say a lot of it has been pretty depraved.
Worst of all, I hadda eat sushi. Ugh!
Johnnies no better. Poor guy hadda work as a shot boy at a gay rodeo bar. I wonder how many times he was asked if he could push in their stool... Ha ha. I no that joke aint PC but itsa classic.
Anyway I wasnt gonna write but I go access to a remote computer system (yeah i'm high-tech now) and I though i would sign in. I'm hopin this undercover operattion will be over soon so I can get back to my crappy life lvin alone and lookin for love in all the wrong places.
I'm sure my ex wives are interested in seein my sorrry ass lookin miserable again. And my kids? Well I know their not missin their old dad any. Boy I'd like to know who I screwed over in a prvious life.
—Gristle ou
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